Funny

Disclaimer: I make no claim that the following list of chance occurrences from my first “twenty-six years” serves as evidence of my divinity, and I have never believed I am Jesus. I hesitated to include this enumeration, wary that it might be misconstrued as “ideas of reference” associated with schizophrenia, but this list is my life—regardless—and is entertaining at best. Compiled recently in my middle age, long after my self-revelation, the list includes the following:

• I was expected to be born on Christmas Eve but arrived several days prior.
• My mother, Pauline, initially intended to name me Jesse but ultimately selected James, after my grandfather.
• My name, James, signifies “supplanter.”
• My mother procured a white dove for me shortly before my birth.
• My father was named James, and his mother was Mary.
• My mother referred to my father as Big Jim and me as Little Jimmy.
• I belong to Generation X.
• My kindergarten class in 1980 comprised twelve boys, excluding myself.
• My mother formed a relationship with a carpenter, lasting ten years, during which I acquired certain skills.
• Two donkeys named Minnie and Pearl resided near my childhood home.
• My great-grandfather bore the name Manuel.
• In my youth, I encountered difficulty with an individual named Michael.
• An elderly woman named Esther occupied the apartment above mine in my first residence.
• The love of my life is named Olive.
• I have a son named Gabriel, and my father has a daughter named Gabriel; their mothers, unbeknownst to one another, independently chose this name.

God has a sense of humor!